THAT was a part of life and the world I had never know before.. I did get to know what vodka the day after smells like... and person not bathing regularly. These can be helpful tools in life....Plus when you are 7-8-9-mo pregnant these smells affect your highly tuned senses--hee hee. Well, it really was not funny at the time I feared or my life almost every day. This train depot was Waukegan, Ill and it was down below way below street level toward the lake, away from everything, it was like the switching station for trains the end of the line-tons of tracks,NOISE, street overpass, no safety nearby. My life took a tragic turn The Lord called my son home suddenly . I got 2 full time jobs to pay the funeral bills and my marriage ended soon after that (that was a good thing) I just did not know it at the time...I went into what I like to call `Gods Anesthesia' (for probably several years) but at least the immediate next few weeks if not months, as I now look back and review it all. I say `Gods Anesthesia' because that's what shock is..It must be a gift from God.. The Lord holds you in His Arms that is what`shock' is until He feels that you can handle it all...When your heart is BROKEN ...well part of it never heals..it is a pain a hole.. like stitches sutured --that can be ripped off at any time and bleed with a pain unknown to many. The Lord clearly Held me in His arms...unbeknownst to me.. thru this time of emotions and troubles and traumas. Losing a child, is something not everyone will go thru, and I at such a young age. Pile on so many more trials to my trauma I found out my ex had not paid any bills for several months b4 he left. Then, With him gone I then had my wages garnished.a horrifying embarrassment to me as I worked at a very respectable job in a hospital where my dear Aunt was held a very high profile job for like all of my life and she and my family were well know in the community. uughhhhh. To embarrass me was bad enough-but my fathers family~I could not even keep my shame to myself...I got 2 house cleaning jobs and worked for 2 Dr's part time and I waitress' at a country club for weddings next door to my house, with my full time job while pulling overtime...Oh he also took the car when he left along with my paycheck, and all my money. . .haha . I was in shock and scared - I began paying funeral bills-now I was so overwhelmed at what he blew up in expenses & lack of monthly payments...I was terrified..bank loans...in my name.. the finances OMG -nothing paid for months, my mortgage, my son's funeral, everything... my world came crashing in financially and he cleaned me out.. When out of the blue I get this new neighbor. Nevlyn..a dear sweet old widow. We lived on the North Shore the suburbs of Chicago and it was Winter with tons of snow every day-so we chatted while shoveling our drives morning and night. My beloved Dad lent me money to get an old used VW bug a 5 speed.( just a few hundred $$)Not a great car in 9 inches of Chicago snow but it got me to work which was about 18mi.1 way. One day this dear woman brought me a gift-the bible in the picture above . I had never heard of this bible before and thought maybe she was with some weird religion or something..but she was kind and not pushy. (I had a strict Catholic upbringing-generations of dads family all went to the same Catholic church and school-so it was not like I was a stranger to religion ) In fact Religion was a foundation of my life and childhood. I planned on being a nun all thru childhood until I learned I could be a nurse like my Aunt. I told my friend about this as she has just gone thru a difficult time and I believe she has found her footing thru her `God Whispers'...along with a happier heart and a more comfortable job. God Whispers are when you feel led to do
something for some unknown reason, beyond yourself. When you ignore God Whispers you get Taps on the shoulder from God --Tap, Tap, Tap. Then, Your gonna get a wack up side the head , OK that is just my way of illustrating to you how you should be moved to be in touch with The Lord.
Bringing this story full circle..This `angel' lady neighbor -
I know was sent by God to `help' me find my way back to Jesus...with all the pain and loss..... I had been living life by working and never feeling again..I had not realized that when I NEEDED the LORD ..I did not seek HIM..I just got another job. Lessons learned? MANY..1st:to STOP and be still...really be still. I actually have a wee child chair in my master bathroom and I go in for `bathroom time', filling the tub, brushing my teeth,cleaning drawers,..it can be hours, well not really but my beloved husband often says so..it is my `be still' time..when the noise of the world STOPS and I can `hear' the God WHispers' with out influence from anyone or anything..the aromatherapy in the hot tub fills the air and scented candles...sitting on my little yellow plastic playschool chair....I have learned in the almost 35 years since Angel Nevelyn gave me the bible to`hear'.........YOU to must `listen' ..to your instincts ..or` God Whispers'--(Oh This woman told me after my marriage ended-she said`God is trying to get your attention' She scared the bazookas out of me with this....BUT left me thinking ..That all that had happened that event filled year...I was running...never stopped- for God.?.Actually I was mad..mad at losing my beautiful boy--mad that the Catholic church refused to do his funeral because I was not married in the Catholic church-therefor they did not recognize the marriage and could not recognize his death ??I had friends in high places even contact the Catholic Bishop in Chicago..well that can be another story..Life is filled with stories....But I KNOW that The Lord sent this Angel to bring me back to Him..and she did and then as suddenly as she appeared she was gone... well, 3yrs later and she saw me thru a lot more - I found my true beloved my true life soul mate, had a baby girl then my angel was gone-poof-no forwarding address...I knew she had a son I met him could never find him??? Guardian Angel .
Do you know what else she did? My husband came from a Jewish background and she had a mission to help Jews to understand Jesus Christ and accept him `Jews for Jesus' she
called it. She would gently spend time talking to my boyfriend, then he became my husband..who later became a Christian thru baptism and we married in a church after our court house marriage. (we still embrace his heritage, we just add on to it)
-God is talking to you-your heart tells you this is good or your heart gives your that `bad' feeling--that is GOD--HE carved the commandments in your heart--that's why we get that `icky' feeling --listen to your heart--to God... My friend did and I believe she will of happier heart. I am aware all the time of this..I try to STOP every night-when I finally climb into bed...I sort thru the day---you know hit the rewind button and see what I can do better for tomorrow....then thank the Lord for all the Blessings I have ...YES I thank Him for the spilled Dr Pepper in the spider man cup and for the smoking Rosemary that I harvested and was drying in the oven but on a wee bit too hi and engulfed the house in smoke and the broken footed vacuum and lamp that ended its life.... NOTE:No one has ever been hurt in my `day to day' activites. Incredible as that is..only me.I have many..that has always been my way..haha ..the hard way. kidding..Actually I was called accident prone as a child --(I never understood what the words meant) now that I am soo much older and have grown kids I `getit'- but it was just the way I was. Oh no one was hurt in the Smoking Rosemary drama EXCEPT our poor dog Peanut. I believe he suffered emotional stress...he ran out the open back door and stood in the back yard shaking.....and he is deaf???I guess the smoke alarms have a vibrational tone In my kitchen area there are like 3 smoke alarms,1 laundry room,1 living room, 1foyer, 1hallway, 1 up the stairway- they all went off...it was loud- I have him a dentabone..and he stayed in his house all night. Thank goodness my husband wqas out of town.
Other lessons: God sends Angels to us to cross our path when we least except it and they are who you least expect. Be kind to all who enter your life--actually I think you know that you all have Angels already in your lives...
but I bet you think about some people, for some you lose touch with them, they touched your life, they were kind, left a positive effect, even if for a short time?You should ask yourself Hmmm what happened? They could have been an angel to cross your path OR were YOU too quick to let go of someone??? ASK yourself!!!! I have . There are times WE get too caught up in OUR own selves and
we do not see what is around us. Who do WE think WE are?? Like WE are SO SPECIAL WE can let an ANGEL go out of our lives??
I have tried never let go of an Angel friend without trying to leave an opening.That is people you have shared deeply-helped thru-special bond. Lots of friends do come & go in life & that is expected. But there is a difference and you wil know it.
Some come and stay a while...
Some come and quickly go...
BUT all leave footprints on our hearts.....
that's something I have had it written on the front page of all my bibles for decades...
not sure of author.
~~~~~~~~well that enough soul searching for now~~~~~~
Listen for your God Whispers in your ear... Before they lead to God tap's on the shoulder, then they become wacks upside the head .....get the idea
BLESSING TO ALL WHO READ THIS