God Whispers
I was chatting with good friend about listening to our inner voice..I call it our ` God Whispers'
I was sharing back when I 1st remember this clearly. It was a `few' years back when I was just 20 yrs old..I had a very good & bad year...1978 I gave birth 1 month after I turned 20, to my 1st child a son-`tweeter' (I call him this as he wore fuzzy yellow sleeper' s and looked like a tweety bird. I had a nice job working at a high end woman's clothing store on the North Shore of Chicago whose clients were the wealthy.and the very wealthy North Shore ladies...I took the train to work every day stumbling over the homeless and drunks that slept at the train station.I did get to know what vodka the day after smells like and a person not bathing regularly :<( These can be helpful tools in life.... Plus when you are 7-8-9-mo pregnant these smells affect your highly tuned senses--hehe. Then my life took a tragic turn. The Lord called my son home suddenly. I got 2 full time jobs to pay the funeral bills, My marriage ended soon after that (that ended up being a good thing-I just did not know it at the time) I went into what I like to call `Gods Anesthesia' for probably several years, as I now look back and review it all. I saw `Gods Anesthesia' because that's what shock is..It must be a gift from God..He hold you in this `shock' until He feels that you can handle it all...When your heart is BROKEN ...well parts never heal..it is a pain like a scab on a wound --it can be ripped off at any time and bleed with a pain unknown to many. The Lord clearly Held my hands thru this time of emotions that many will never go thru. I found out my ex had not paid any bills for several months b4 he left...and I then had my wages garnished..a horrifying embarrassment to me as I worked at a very respectable job in a hospital where my dear Aunt was asst Dir of nursing for like all of my life. aughhhhh.... I went and got 2 house cleaning jobs,worked for 2 Dr's part time,I waitress ed at a country club for weddings...Oh he also took the car when he left along with my paycheck. Its was like a bad country music song. Hmm maybe I should write it up and send it off to Nashville..haha, I was in shock `again'. not at losing the husband-but the finances. When out of the blue I get a new neighbor. Nevlyn, a dear sweet old widow. we lived on the North Shore of a Chicago suburb,it was winter with tons of snow every day,we chatted while shoveling our drives morning and night. My Daddy lent me money to get an old used VW bug a 5 speed. Not a great car in 9 inches of Chicago snow but it got me to work. One day this dear woman brought me a gift-the bible in the picture. I had never heard of this bible before thought maybe she was with some weird religion or something..but she was kind and not pushy. (I had a strict Catholic upbringing-generations of my dads family all went to the same Catholic school-so it was not like I was a stranger to religion) In fact Religion was a foundation of my life. I planned on being a nun all thru childhood until I learned I could be a nurse like my Aunt. The 2nd photo is the page she inscribed.
Bringing this story full circle..This `angel' lady I know was sent by God to `help' me find my way back to Jesus...with all the pain and loss, I had been living life by working, never feeling again..I had not realized that when I NEEDED the LORD ..I did not seek HIM..I just got another job. Lessons learned? MANY..1st:to STOP and be still...really be still.
I have my little time alone ~if you call it that~ I have a wee child chair in my master bathroom and I go in for `bathroom time', filling the tub, brushing my teeth, cleaning a drawer, dusting a shelf..it can be hours.well not really but DH say so..it is my `be still' time..when the noise of the world STOPS and I can `hear' the God WHispers' with out influence from anyone or anything..the aromatherapy in the hot tub fills the air scented candles replace the.dish soap-laundry detergent, I sit on my little yellow plastic chair, and just `be still' ... I have learned in the almost 30 years since Angel Nevelyn gave me the bible to `hear' ...listen to your instincts--(Oh This woman told me after my marriage ended-she said`God is trying to get your attention' She scared the bazookas out of me with that....BUT left me thinking ..at all that had happened that event filled year...I was running...never stopped for God..Actually, I was mad..mad at losing my beautiful boy--mad that the Catholic church refused to do his funeral -because I was not married in the Catholic church-there for they did not recognize the marriage could not recognize his death..I had friends even contact the Catholic Bishop..well that can be another story..Life is filled with stories....But I believe that The Lord sent this Angel to bring me back to Him..and she did, then as suddenly as she appeared she was gone...no forwarding address...I knew she had a son, I had met him, many times - never found him again???
-God is talking to you-your heart tells you this is good or your heart gives your that `bad' feeling--that is GOD--HE carved the commandments in your heart--that's why we get that `icky' feeling --listen to your heart--to God... Bunny did I believe she will of happier heart. I am aware all the time of this..I try to STOP every night-when I finally climb into bed...I sort thru the day---you know hit the rewind button and see what I can do better....then thank the Lord for all the Blessings i have...YES I thank Him for the spilled Dr Pepper in the spider man cup, for the smoking Rosemary herbs I was drying in the oven, the broken footed vacuum, the lamp that ended its life.... NOTE:No one has ever been hurt in my escapades. Incredible as that is..only me.I have many..that has always been my way...the hard way. kidding..Actually I was called accident prone as a child --(I never understood what the words meant) it was just the way I was and these things were.. Oh no one was hurt in the Smoking Rosemary drama.Well, EXCEPT Peanut, I believe he suffered emotional stress...he ran out the open back door & stood in the back yard shaking.....and he is deaf??? I guess the smoke alarms have a vibrational tone....I have him a dentabone..and he stayed in his house all night. Other lessons: God send Angels to us to cross our path when we least except it and they are who you least expect. Be kind to all who enter your life--actually I think you know that you all have Angels already in your lives...some come and stay a while...some come and quickly go...BUT all leave footprints on our hearts.....that's something I have had it written on the front page of all my bibles for decades... author unknown
REMEMBER that
more lessons
well that enough soul searching for now
